Tears spilling onto swollen cheeks, she looked at him with pleading eyes. "Don't go."
In that moment he knew that he would never love the same way again.
She waited forever to hear those words. "I love you, too." Spoken too late.
Gazing at tiny pinpoints of light, I knew at last, I was going home.
Lost: one spouse, one house, two cars, few friends and countless dreams. Found: myself.
In which a group of friends get together and prod each other to refine their craft.
Write monkey, write!
4 comments:
Hey Steph,
Welcome to the club. It is great to have you aboard.
Of the five, I liked ["Lost: one spouse, one house, two cars, few friends and countless dreams. Found: myself."] the most.
It suggested an entire story in the way I think the assignment intended. I can't help but wonder how the divorce occurred and the events that transpired afterwards.
Outstanding.
I think that the things you told me you were worried about...
...you were just teasing, about all that.
I'll elaborate more in my next comment, but for now, I just wanted to say welcome here, to our corner of the web.
Good to have you. : )
My fav, by a mile:
Tears spilling onto swollen cheeks, she looked at him with pleading eyes. "Don't go."
Some of the most intense moments of my entire life could be summed up in your 14 words, here. Lots of personal resonance.
They are all very good, Steph. Your opening up is wonderful, and compelling.
My favorite one is "Gazing at tiny pinpoints of light, I knew at last, I was going home." While I don't know if the pinpoints of light are meant to metaphorical or not, it still gives that feeling of relief and finality, in a very comforting sort of way. I thought they were all great.
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